DEALING WITH CHINA

You Can Make This Up!

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 20:38:58 GMT

On March 24, 2008 The Onion posted this video:

And on April 14, 2008 the BBC News posted this video:

No Tick-e! No World Superpower!

Mon, 31 Mar 2008 00:01:44 GMT

Journalist Ted Fishman, in his book China Inc., writes about how China is growing to dominate the world.

I haven't taken the time to read his arguments, but I am pretty sure China will not become a global superpower anytime soon. The following email sent to me from a Chinese college student is my proof:

"Hi Bob,

This is Jin , how is everything going ? It must be fineJ

Sorry for writing is letter so late .We got to Orland , FL safty , and we are very buzy this days, making up our apartment ,going to supermarket for our daily goods, we cook ourselves ,and I have a perfect cooking skills , WELCOME TO HAVE A TASTE :)

Orlando is very very beautiful ,it is a nice place to live ,but it is hot ,I have already wear short T-shirt and knickers, when I got off the airplane , I say to myself ---oh my god ,what should I wear in Auguest !?

Today is my first day to training class, it is ineresting , I got 3 gifts ,one is SNOW WHITE,the other is DONAL DUCK , and a little FAIRY , there are very nice , and I like them very much (*^__^*)

ok , good luck and best wishes!

Pass you some my pictures , very Chinese girl !

Hoping for your replay !

Regards

Jin"

(Email is unedited)

Yeah, But Now He Can Use 50 Yuan as his Rapping Name.

Wed, 19 Mar 2008 23:25:38 GMT

Li Yuan, of the Wall Street Journal, reports on Niu Gensheng founder of China Mengniu Dairy Group:

"Mr. Niu's parents were so poor that they sold him for 50 yuan to a couple when he was barely a month old. (That's about $7 at the current exchange rate, but it was more than a month's salary for average Chinese then.)"

No Soup For YouTube!

Mon, 17 Mar 2008 19:46:30 GMT

YouTube in has been blocked, reports the Guardian.

"China's internet clampdown came over the weekend, following the outbreak of widespread unrest and violence in Tibet last week, and has hit websites including Yahoo, YouTube and Guardian.co.uk."

It's a shame no one in China will be able to see today's most viewed video.

Beer Lunch: No Longer a Chinese Tradition

Thu, 21 Feb 2008 04:43:44 GMT

BBC reports on China's oppressive government:

"Alcohol makers in a central Chinese province plan to challenge a ban on government officials drinking during their lunch break.

...Some officials said they had found it useful.

'Since the ban took effect, I have fallen into the habit of not drinking at midday on workdays,' Xinhua quoted one official as saying."

Australian PM Kevin Rudd Returns.

Tue, 15 Jan 2008 21:05:25 GMT

Try to make it to 7:05, to see Rudd impress the CCTV interviewer.

Obama to Reduce Children's Toys by 80%, Wins Grinch & Scrooge Vote

Sat, 29 Dec 2007 08:16:20 GMT

Reuters reports on how Obama views children's toys.

"'I would stop the import of all toys from China. Now, I have to say that that's about 80 percent of toys that are being imported right now,' the Illinois senator told voters."

Christmas must be fun at his house.

Wh@t the F#ck?

Tue, 11 Dec 2007 01:53:07 GMT

Here is a graphic that has been repeatedly aired on CNBC.

This makes inserting needless Chinese words into English text seem acceptable. There is no reason to replace the letter "I" with a "hand" radical.

When I'm Bored I Blog, But I Guess That's Not Any Better.

Tue, 27 Nov 2007 00:07:42 GMT

Sohu video blogs has has some very interesting material.

The title of the video is roughly, "Bored Man Slips Bottle Into Anus, The Process of Removing it is Like Giving Birth."

At Least They're Not Driving Home, Oh Wait.

Wed, 21 Nov 2007 03:40:04 GMT

With an article for The New Yorker, Peter Hessler is doing his part to improve Western media's reporting on China.

"The [driving] course ended with a week and a half on the road. At noon, the class had lunch, where everybody drank beer, including the coach, and then they continued to drive."

Chinese Prime Minister Wen Jiabao

Tue, 20 Nov 2007 07:17:47 GMT

Shhh!

This long.

This small.

And this tall.

Nose kisses! Umm.

Stop!

Passing it.

One handshake.

Two handshakes.

Tea time, yummy.

Jiabao got an 'A'.

Hello?

This has gone too far.

He is Just Following Their Customs.

Sat, 27 Oct 2007 23:08:08 GMT

Kevin Rudd, Australian Labour Party leader and prime ministerial hopeful, eats his ear wax (back left in the first video). Mr. Rudd also speaks Chinese. No word on how he answers his phone.

Ear Wax Eating

"Panda Pandering"

He Pointed and Said, "uuuh That, uhhh uhhh, Because, uhhh Why"

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 18:09:44 GMT

Alan Paul, who can't tell the difference between a first and last name, is a writer I despise. Writing for Slam and Guitar World has uniquely positioned this following spouse to write painful articles about China for the Wall Street Journal. I hope readers are still being protected from his writings by password.

"I drove up the road with our ayi (nannie) Ding the other day and asked her in Chinese why she thought this [construction] was all happening. "Yinwei (because) next year Olympics come," she said in our usual Chinglish style."

Update: This seems to be a theme of his. From his blog:

"I was walking down a narrow, usually quiet downtown street with my Chinese teacher Yechen. The sidewalks were being torn up, walls were being rebricked, you had to cross over two-by-fours to enter stores. We asked a resting worker what was going on. "For the Olympics," he said after chugging some water."

Did DeGeneres Take It?

Wed, 24 Oct 2007 00:38:58 GMT

Reporting from the China Daily seems to be on par with anything from the US.

"Jackie Chan's beloved golden retriever went missing last week and the action star is "heartbroken," Chan's Web site said Tuesday."

China Dorks: One Less, Me: One More.

Sat, 20 Oct 2007 04:43:40 GMT

Famous writer, James Fallows is catching on. Finally some reporting on China that makes sense, well only if you skip to the last point (number 9) and I suggest you do. Read on here.

Would it Help if I Wrote it in Chinese?

Fri, 19 Oct 2007 03:14:57 GMT

Jan Kiely, the American Co-Director of Hopkins-Nanjing Center, doesn't get it yet. Please see my analysis. The passage taken from a print brochure.

"With an invitation from Sichuan University (四川大学) and the firm coaxing of our neighbors, Harvard China historian John Fairbank and his wife Wilma, how could we not go? My subsequent encounter with early "opening and reform" (改革开放) China, with Chinese language and with a remarkable groupof [sic] schoolmates at Chengdu Middle School Number Seven (成都七中) inspired in me an inexhaustible fascination.

...I spent extended stints at Beijing University (北京大学) and Nanjing University (南京大学), studying, conducting research, and also teaching and directing study programs for American students.

I have twice lived in Nanjing, met and married my Nanjing ren (南京人) wife there..."

Analysis:

This introduction was written for an English speaking audience, I know this because it's in English. There is no need to have Chinese inserted throughout the text. To a person who can't read Chinese, it adds nothing. Anyone who can read Chinese would not have a problem recognizing the simple and direct English translation for these Chinese names and phrases.

This needs to stop.

I Understand Other Línguas (Portuguese for Languages) Use Different Woorden (Dutch for Words).

Tue, 16 Oct 2007 21:49:43 GMT

It ends up Scots can read, they even have a newspaper.

"Security was tight outside the Great Hall of the People for the 17th Communist Party Congress. Inside, there was some talk of Minzhu - democracy - but not in a way the West would recognise.

...Mr Hu used the Chinese word for democracy - Minzhu - more than 60 times in the speech,"

Of Course They're Pissed, You Used the Wrong Name in Bed!

Tue, 16 Oct 2007 21:17:29 GMT

Reuters reports: China memo questions loyalty of Communist Tibetans.

"Radio Free Asia (RFA) quoted the memo directly, saying it accused internal dissidents of "suckling at the breast of the Chinese Communist Party, while calling the Dalai Lama mother"."

It's Not the Same When You're an Expat Living in a Luxury Apartment.

Wed, 10 Oct 2007 16:33:05 GMT

Famous writer, James Fallows, is whining.

"Five minutes after the movers show up, to collect all the goods from our Shanghai apartment for shipment to Beijing, I see, via my Atlantic colleagues, this new report on the most- and least-livable among 72 of the world's major cities.

The good news for my wife and me is that we're leaving city #71, the next-to-worst!
The bad news ...

5 Worst:
68. Bangkok
69. Guangzhou
70. Mumbai
71. Shanghai
72. Beijing"

What Do You Get When You Throw Six Children From a School Balcony?

Wed, 10 Oct 2007 02:44:35 GMT

"Hard Lessons" from The Economist.

"ON SEPTEMBER 13th a man threw six children from a balcony of their school in a small town in central China."

Don't Answer Your Phone in a Language You Can't Speak.

Tue, 09 Oct 2007 02:19:09 GMT

Kevin Maney of Portfolio writes about Bill Amelio, C.E.O. of Lenovo.

"His [Bill Amelio's] cell phone instantly rings. He answers with the standard Chinese greeting ni hao but continues in English. (He does not speak much Chinese.)"

China is Changing, I Stopped Reading.

Sat, 06 Oct 2007 19:35:48 GMT

In "How China is Like a Bicycle" Ian Bremmer lays down some hard-hitting reporting.

"BEIJING—There's plenty to read on China in the Western media. But my most recent visit convinces me that the place is changing way too quickly for any single snapshot to do it justice. China's transformation is everywhere—in skylines, in shop windows, and in conversations with Chinese citizens and officials of every description. A visit to Beijing generates two immediate impressions: growth continues at top speed; and, surprisingly, there's little sign of any real instability anywhere. We've seen the stats.

But the wide variety of anecdotal evidence I gathered here tells me that..."

Update: Danwei.org hates Ian Bremmer too.

They Have Electricity Too.

Sat, 06 Oct 2007 01:55:16 GMT

Evan Osnos of the Chicago Tribune responds,

"The Internet is available - - to some degree - - in tiny towns all over China. That doesn’t mean everyone uses it; usually, it is kids who want to play games. But the change is historic..."

In China, Kids Aren't Fed Toys.

Sat, 06 Oct 2007 01:36:02 GMT

Breaking news from the BBC:

"A two-day hearing is taking place in Washington to examine the extent of lead contamination in children's toys.

It comes after the recall of 21 million mainly Chinese-made toys in recent months over their lead content."

Wow, Just Like the Rest of Their Products.

Sat, 06 Oct 2007 01:15:24 GMT

BBC News reports that construction projects in China are rushed.

"One foreign architect working in Beijing says developers would rather use cheap, shoddy building materials rather than more durable, but expensive, products, even on high-end projects.

"Many buildings in Beijing will have to be torn down and rebuilt in 10 years or so because they've been built so badly," he says."